Pre teen daughter has apparently been asked out by a boy called Teabag. As she is very very pre-teen (by three whole years) I have advised her not to "go out" with anybody. This, it transpires, might be a bit of a problem as she didn't like to say no to Michael when he asked her out in case she hurt his feelings. Or Finlay. And she is a bit worried that William has also told someone he loves her which is only going to compound the problem as if he asks her out she probably won't want to hurt his feelings either.
"You can't go out with anybody at all" I said.
"Why?"
"Because you're ten."
"When can I?"
"When you're thirteen" (delivered definitively and in way of firm boundary setting/good parenting).
Pause.
"I'll make a deal with you", she says, thrusting out her hand "Twelve and the deal is signed". (delivered definitively and as if she was born with the art of persuasion/ determination).
Pause while mother negotiates line between maintaining open and honest communication in preparation for the teenage years with the urge to be very very clear about what is acceptable for a ten year old and beyond. Decide to try a different approach.
Very tentatively I ask, fearing the worst, "Darling, when you "go out" with somebody, you don't hold hands or anything do you?"
"URRRRRRRRRRRRGHGGGGGGGGG . WHY would I want to do that Mum?"
I think that means we are ok for a while yet...
Tomorrow: Read all about Billy and the Love Club...
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